How we cope
by Tentativa
Summary: To show the often forgotten Harry Potter characters' inner feelings. How do they cope with the horrors coming ? Such is my goal. First : Trelawney, Second : Petunia, Third : Neville... more to come
1. Trealwney

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* * *

"...I gaze at my crystal ball,  
Decrypting words of mist.  
As a new evil brings new fall,  
History shall take another twist.  
When such dark times shatter hope to pieces  
I'd like to blind my two eyes,  
For only the Third has brought me peace,  
As dark clouds cover the skies..."

He is back. I should have known it, shouldn't I ? The future is an open book for Sybill Trelawney, isn't it ? As a Seer, it is my duty to watch through the mists of time, and See. I See, but what should I do ? Who am I in this war, which is coming ? A spectator, unable to prevent the dark deeds which I foretell from happening. That's what I have concluded I am. It is, alas, my fate.

I can remember the times in which I discovered my abilities... Not happy times at all. I couldn't control it at first. The shadows kept coming, scaring the little girl I was back then. Past, present and future, I couldn't tell the difference between them, when I started seeing those things. Scary things. My parents dying, for example. And always, a dark cloud, just over the horizon, nearer as the years passed. I tried to warn people, I swear I did. But no one would believe me...

Flashback

"No mommy, don't go, please !"  
"Sybill, don't be silly, your father and I are just going to visit your Aunt in France for two days, and we'll be back. Stop crying, dear, you are already nine for God's sake."

"But I have this dreadful feeling something will happen, please don't go !"

"Sybill, your grandmother will perfectly look after you. Now be a good girl and we'll bring you a wonderful gift from France."

end flashback

All seemed to go very quickly after. The Daily Prophet's full report on the tragic accident with the flying carpet doing the London-Paris connection. The Ministry's of Magic ban on all kinds of flying carpets...

My life was never quite the same afterwards. My lack of surprisal at my parents deaths had horrified my family, and they regarded me almost as if I were the one to blame of my parents' deaths. I guess my mother had told them about my warning. In school, I was said to bring misfortune. Only because I told that boy his mother would die the day after.

The most important lesson to a Seer, is that truth hurts. A lot.

Since then, I have learnt to stop using the Eye that often. I don't distinguish lies from truth any longer. It is better to be laughed at for being a fraud, than being feared for being a Seer. It still amazes me how I got that post as Divination teacher in Hogwarts. I imagine Dumbledore saw something that even my three eyes couldn't see. Strange man... One of the only persons whose fate I have been unable to discern.

Students are more easy to comprehend. Brown and Patil are seemingly impressed, and usually keep me company in my Tower. I appreciate their company, and I like them. I like people who have a happy future. When I look at them I don't have to see their tragic deaths or feel their pains, and can see them happily married with children. Makes things a lot easier for me. They have confessed that they would like to be Seers too. But they do not Know as I Know, nor See as I See. That Potter kid is a more interesting one. A great fate awaits him, but if it is good or bad, I cannot see. Fortunately, for it must not be too pleasant to watch I dare say. Longbottom reminds me of my school days, and his fear dwells upon the same reasons I guess. Weasley has no Divination talent whatsoever, and spends his time sleeping or whispering to Potter. Am I jealous ? Perhaps...

As to Granger, she was the first student who actually walked out of my class to never return. She said that seeing the future was useless ( wise girl ) and that she considered me as a fraud. I wish I were... But she is foolish too, she craves for truth and facts, whereas I have long learned that lies and imagination are much more confortable.

As He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named rises again from the ashes, I am grateful that the dark cloud I was witnessing since my childhood prevents me from seeing what's coming. I do not wish to see the war, the terror, the pain that will come. I don't need my Third eye to see that.

It doesn't matter. I will stay here, in my Tower, witnessing, as I have always done. My false predictions will be my consolation, if the real ones prove too pessimistic. There is nothing better than being a fraud Hermione Granger. I don't want to see.

Yet I See

For such is, alas my, fate

* * *

Dedicated to Sybill Trelawney, victim of her own talent. Unnatural gifts, do breed unnatural troubles...

* * *


	2. Petunia

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* * *

"... Downpour, just another Monday,  
It's easy to watch it through the window,  
As if it were falling somewhere far away,  
Or through a spell turn it into snow.  
But soft ! What light through yonder window breaks ?  
None for no sun nor moon found the will to rise.  
Rain falls, yet we hope that for all of our sakes,  
They will shine tomorrow on a world they despise..."

He is back ! I have seen the relief in my nephew's eyes when he realized that I knew too what this implied. Yet as he looked into my eyes pleading for support against my husband I felt nothing but anger at him. Anger for throwing us in the middle of a war between people we don't belong to. If freaks murder freaks it could only be a good riddance for everyone, isn't it ?

I can still review all of that fateful day in my mind... My panic at seeing Dudley shivering and my fury at once again having these magical monsters hurting my family. For all our trouble in avoiding them, all we want them to do is too just leave us alone ! Learn your magic tricks if you want to, but don't come again to bother us ! That was all I asked, but of course our beloved nephew had to attract trouble once again. That day was the day I realized that the bubble of mediocrity I had created to protect us from them was perhaps not enough... I wanted to put Harry out of my house, but I owed Lily at least that... Even if I shall never admit it to anyone else.

They are all gone now... The little freak went to his freak school, Dudley is back at his father's school at Smeltings Private School, and Vernon is at work. How I love that man ! Everything about him is so common... so mediocre... and mediocrity is my greatest guaranty of safety... safety for my family from the monsters lurking outside. His hatred for abnormality... his job as a drills entrepreneur... his physical appearance, intellect there isn't a thing about him that is special... and that is why I fell in love with him... The man who helped me sever all the few links I still had with Lily's world... Although not even he could prevent Harry from coming with us... And with him in our house, I knew "he" would be after us too.

So this one he called Voldemort... Such is the name of the murderer of the Potters. Dear Lily, why have you brought doom upon yourself ? I saw it from the very first day you received the cursed letter. An aura of dread seemed to emanate from it though I was the only one to feel it. So much for magical abilities isn't it Lily ? In the end the only one able to foretell the future was I... You should have taken my advice Lily... At least you'd still be alive. Harry would have a normal life and be a normal boy, not this perturbed boy who seems to attract trouble wherever he goes. Look at the misfortune you brought upon your very own son, Lily ! Was magic and the power it gave you worth destroying your life and Harry's ? Was magic reward enough for the destruction of our lifelong friendship ? I never forgave you Lily... But now, almost fifteen years after your death, I wish... I wish I had at least told you that you remained my sister... I wish you hadn't died before I could see you one last time. But now... It is too late

Such is the fate of those who crave for power mankind shouldn't be allowed to possess. Wizards are foolish ; they have awakened a power they can even barely understand. Everyone knows what Man wants power for... Voldemort is just a symbol... A symbol of magic's own self-destruction... When he shall be destroyed ( as he shall be, for no power lives forever ) the magical folk will have no choice but to break their wands and destroy the link which binds some humans to this supernatural power. Supernatural says it all : it has no place in nature.

As for me, I shall do what I've always done, prying in my neighbors privacy and hearing adoringly Vernon's tales about drills... thrilling in his mediocrity, and settling into mine.

And shutting the windows and the doors, we shall die in our bubble of comfort and illusion...

* * *

Dedicated to Petunia Dursley, the wisdom within the nobodies...

* * *


	3. Neville

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* * *

"... Tonight all is done ; there is nothing to do.  
Boredom creeps, I wish it were a feeling I'd never known.  
I breathed a wish and then went on to dream it true,  
Only one spell I want to learn : turn my heart into stone.  
For I feel now that it's made of glass,  
You touch it once and it breaks in pieces !  
How long must I wait to pass,  
This time where I only get dreaming kisses..."

So it finally happened... Harry finally told me the thing that's been bothering him for some time now, and that had been preventing him from looking at me in the eye... Not many people do, so I don't want the few people who acknowledge me as a person to stop doing so. The prophecy... I don't know why he really thought it would disturb me to know I could have been him. Living his life, overcoming his hardships... Would he be me then ? Would the Boy-who-lived live through my life ?

Harry should have realized my life was always destined to almost be someone I am not. Either my father, or my mother, whom I am not worthy of, are the models I try to follow. Yes, Grandmother, despite what you think, it's not on purpose that I break everything I touch and fail everything I do. It is a pure natural talent bend toward destruction that prevents me from being the person you want me to be.

Well except Herbology... I remember that as a child I thought I was only talented with living things such as plants... I'm not that pretentious anymore. I dislike animals and have no talent whatsoever with people... Plants are easy because they have no will, no personality. Do I recognize myself in them ? That thought alone is rather depressing... as if I needed another reminder of my own failure.

They say that people like me are the ones that join Voldemort... Just like Peter Petigrew, whose story I heard once in the common room when Harry, Ron and Hermione didn't see me just beside them, eavesdropping into their conversation. Sometimes I wonder if I should pursue my invisibility talents and turn it into an actual power. Peter was me of course... The weak tag-along behind the brilliant trio. The analogy was just too obvious, but I shall not follow his path. I am not too fond of Voldemort, as he is to be blamed of my personal failure. Moreover, unlike Peter I do not seek power... I got used to being the one who fails... Foolish Peter, the hatred in Harry's voice when he spoke about him... Trust me Peter it's better to be just the loser than the monster. It's better to take the pity in Ginny's voice when she said she'd go with me to the Yule Ball... the pity in Hermione's features when she listed the ingredients of the Polyjuice potion to me... the pity in Harry's eyes when he told me I was worth twelve times Malfoy... Trust me Harry, it is better to be feared as you were in our second year than being the one who is always overlooked. Trust me Harry, it is not me who should feel lucky for not being you, it is you who should sigh with relief for not living my life. Because you are someone who can live to the expectations people have on you, whereas I cannot.

And I will keep living the way I always did.

Failing... But whatever failure I bring upon myself, it will be my own ! Whereas you Peter, are but the puppet of another. That is to be the greatest difference between the of us

And my greatest glory will be to almost have been Harry... how pathetic...

* * *

Dedicated to Neville Longbottom, whose resilience to his own shortcomings proved to be his greatest strength...

* * *


End file.
